Why Your Child or Teenager Might Be Struggling to Attend School

Why is My Child or Teenager Refusing to Go to School?

School refusal, or emotionally-based school avoidance (EBSA), among children and teenagers has become an increasingly concerning issue, particularly in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Understanding the underlying reasons can help parents and carers provide and seek the necessary support to address this challenge effectively.

Reasons Behind School Refusal

1. Anxiety and Mental Health Issues: Many children and teenagers experience anxiety and other mental health problems that make attending school daunting. These issues can manifest as fear of social situations, separation anxiety, or specific phobias related to school environments.

2. Bullying and Social Pressures: Bullying, peer pressure, and social exclusion can significantly impact a young person's willingness to attend school. The fear of encountering bullies or the stress of fitting in can lead to avoidance behaviours.

3. Special Education Needs (SEN): Undiagnosed SEN or struggles with academic performance can cause a child to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, leading to school refusal as a coping mechanism.

4. Family Issues: Changes at home, such as parental separation, illness, or financial difficulties, can create an unstable environment, making school attendance seem less important or more stressful for the child.

5. Post-COVID Impact: The pandemic has had a profound effect on young people’s mental health and their relationship with schooling. Disruptions caused by lockdowns, remote learning, and the general anxiety surrounding COVID-19 have led to an increase in school refusal cases. Many children and teenagers have struggled to readjust to the structured environment of school after months of learning from home.

The BBC Reported: “Department for Education (DfE) data, shows more than one out of every five children in England are persistently absent from school - double the proportion before the Covid pandemic.”

Steps for Parents

1. Open Communication: Encourage open and non-judgemental communication with your child to understand their concerns about school. Listening to their feelings can help identify specific issues and make them feel supported. It can take time for the young person to find adequate language to articulate their feelings so excerising paitence is very important. Often young people feel shame that they are letting you down, that they are a burden or a problem, it can take time to work through this to create a foundation of trust and security.

2. Seek Professional Help: If your child’s school refusal is linked to anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, seeking help from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can provide strategies and interventions tailored to your child’s needs.

If your child’s school refusal is due to Special Educational Needs (SEN), neurodivergence, whether diagnosed or not diagnosed, seeking support from medical professionals, community support groups and specialist organisations can help provide a deeper understanding.

3. Collaborate with the School: Work closely with teachers, school counsellors, and administrators to develop a plan that addresses your child's specific challenges. This might include academic accommodations, peer support groups, or adjustments to their school schedule. If your child has an Education Health Care Plan (EHCP) in place there may be additional funding for outreach tuition, placement at Alternative Education providers, or more intensive pastoral care through 1:2:1 Teaching Assistant support.

4. Create a Supportive Home Environment: Ensure your home environment is stable and supportive. We understand that there can be any number of problems that life throws at us, and young people are in the natural course of their life going to be exposed to any number of problems and issues. We’re not suggesting wrapping them in cotton wool. However, establishing routines that provide a sense of security and predictability, can help reduce anxiety related to school and life in general.

5. Utilise Available Resources: Take advantage of the resources provided by mental health support teams and school programmes designed to support children’s mental wellbeing. These resources can offer valuable tools and strategies for managing school refusal.

Addressing school refusal requires a comprehensive approach that involves understanding the root causes, leveraging available resources, and fostering a supportive environment both at home and in school. By taking proactive steps, parents can help their children overcome the barriers to school attendance and support their overall mental health and educational success.

We’re here to support you

Keane Futures specialise in reengaging young people who are refusing to attend mainstream school. We work first on the Social, Emotional and Mental wellbeing of the young person, build a relationship with them, before looking at ways to weave educational outcomes around their passion and interests. From here we can help with reintegration plans back into a mainstream setting, help parents and young people explore Education Other Than At School (EOTAS) or alternative pathways to gain a formal education.

Contact us on: 0161 969 8476 or 07562779233 today.


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Understanding Emotional Masking in Teenagers: A Neurodiverse Perspective